Having been on the other side of everything for close to two months now, I’ve found myself increasingly understanding why more and more brides get stressed out. I’m lucky enough to have an idea of what I’m doing and who I want to be involved in our day, but it’s still a minefield of mixing your heart and your head and trying to find a happy medium.
The first time I realised that this wasn’t going to be a tick box exercise was when I went dress shopping. I hear gasps of “but you’ve only just got engaged” and yes it was a bit early, but I had my eye on a designer and they were having a trunk show, so I thought why not. So I headed off to London with my mum and Matt’s mum and decided it would be fun to go and try some dresses on and have girly time together, but then the pressure hit! I was thinking, “I’m dragging all these people to London and this isn’t just about trying on dresses, this is real now!”. As I put dress after dress on I didn’t feel like I thought I would and I started to wonder if was just numb to wedding dresses after seeing so many?! I had been so sure in my mind of what I wanted, but as I didn’t look like the models I’d seen wearing them I didn’t feel like a Bride. Long story short, I did find a dress, but it was so different to what I thought I was looking for that it took me a while to except it. You have this idea of what you want for so long and then you get there and it changes, so you have to rethink it and, if you’re like me and love everything organised and boxes ticked, it can take a while to get your head around thinking with your heart rather than your head!
It’s been the same with other suppliers too, thinking “I know what I want” and “this will be easy”, but trying to get budgets together and piece parts of the day together, whilst looking at my Pinterest board with my work head on thinking, “I know that’s not at all practical and there’s no budget for that”. So we’ve had to rethink what things are most important to us, and keep ourselves focused on those. There is also A LOT that goes on behind the scenes for a wedding, so unless you are in the wedding industry, you will never see it all – but that’s the point. For example, my job is to make everything run smoothly, dealing with little hiccups without worrying the couple. There’s a lot of people involved in bringing a day together, so my other focus was trying to make the day as easy as possible for the people who will be running it and bringing it to life for me. You have a chosen supplier for a reason; because you love what they do! So by letting them get on and enjoy it too, the atmosphere will be so much better and so much more relaxed for everyone involved, including you!
As getting things organised is pretty much my life, I’ve also found it difficult to not get answers when I need them and accept not having everything nailed down in my head when I thought I would. I’d given myself this idea that I could pretty much get everything sorted before our wedding season kicks off however, as i’m learning, sometimes there isn’t a simple answer and going back and and forth over something, actually works out for the best in the end!
I guess what I’m trying to say is this; it’s ok if your ideas and plans change along the way! They will change as reality, practicality and, of course budget, all come in to play, but don’t stress about it! Just keep reminding yourself that you’re getting married to the person you love, with friends and family there to celebrate with you – that’s it and that’s all it should be about. You want the day and the time you spend along the way with family and friends to be happy and enjoyable, so enjoy those moments and take them as they come with the understanding that your ideas may have to change and sometimes you do have to listen to your mum, as sometimes she is right…but don’t tell her I admitted that!